you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize