im drinking this country out of the recession.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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