I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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