Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
