he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
