"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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