3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
