Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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