I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
