I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
