How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
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