I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
