Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
