Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
my poor anus
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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