It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
