hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
