my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
