i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
