The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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