VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
