I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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