eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
