I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize