I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
