I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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