shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
