This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
