Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize