I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize