Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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