an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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