wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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