I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
