Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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