Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
