is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Boobs speak an international language.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
