she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
