There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
