we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
