so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
