I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
