I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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