the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize