I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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