I take back everything I said about communal showers
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
did i walk over a car last night?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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