He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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