She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize