Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
