I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize