If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Randomize
