I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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