I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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