rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
