That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
