As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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