from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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