There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
