I hope mine doesn't look like that
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
