Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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