Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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