it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
