So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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