i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize