yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
