After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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