some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
