ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
