quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
