On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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