A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
