i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
not ubering you a puppy
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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