i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
