Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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