Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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