Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
