He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
