Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
