New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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