i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Your cock deserves a montage
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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