Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
