Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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