girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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