i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
