i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
