D3 body, D1 cock
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
