If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize