i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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